2016 // He is making ALL things new!

As 2015 ends and 2016 begins... I can't help, but stop, take a step back, and examine my life right now at this very moment and where I've been and where I'm headed.

Like every year for us it seems, 2015 has been BUSY to say the least. If you know me, you know busy is where I like to be and where I tend to stay. My life is very high energy and motivated and I attribute a lot of it to the great role models I had growing up, while the other small part I guess to my personality in general.

Although we incorporated our business, Dallas Aeration, in late 2014, we officially launched in early 2015. For our first year in business, I couldn't be more pleased. We saw God's hand in our plans, in the details, and in every aspect of our business it seemed, time and time again. There were SO many things that happened that all we could do was pretty much say, "Wow, God did it..." It's an incredible and surreal feeling and one that I never get tired of.

We celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary and 8 total years together in February and celebrated our beautiful daughter's 6th birthday in May. These may seem like "small" things, but to us, they continue to be magical each year. I have learned that so much of life goes on in the mundane. Appreciating the mundane and letting God rule even your mundane is not only necessary, but crucial. I read an awesome quote in a book I read, "Glimpses of Grace", that reads: "if God doesn't rule your mundane, then He doesn't rule you, because that's where you live- in the mundane." So eye opening.

In July, on my Dad's birthday to be specific, my Papaw went to be with Jesus after a long, arduous fight with Diffuse Lewy Body Syndrome and after several years in the nursing home. It was a hard time for my entire family, but we know that he is healed now and has been made completely new. As hard as it is to let him go, the rock of our family on my Dad's side, we know that it was unfair to wish him here in the condition he was in. I treasure the memories made with him so dearly and hold close all of the photos I was able to get of him with my 3 sweet children.

In August, we found out we were pregnant with our baby boy, Silas! He is due May 7th, although we expect him early April as I have had all of my children early. We could not be more elated about the soon to be birth of another life gifted to us. Finding out I was pregnant with Silas brought back so many memories of when I was pregnant with Gavin which was also when I lost my precious Mam-ma. I was reminded yet again of Job 1:21, "Naked I came out of my mother's womb and naked shall I return thither. The Lord gave and The Lord has taken away. Blessed be the name of the Lord!" This verse has become even more real in my life over the past few years and shows me every time I read it that the Word of God is LIVING and ACTIVE. I cannot read those words or say them aloud without my eyes filling with tears. The emotions I feel overwhelm me for more reasons than one. It is not only regarding my loss, but also my gain- my gift- new life given to me from The Lord Almighty. It is not only these things, but also the very real and present reminder that Jesus is undeniably who He says He is and proves Himself over and over again in every aspect of my life. Even in the ones that are hard. Those are the ones where it seems He proves Himself even more and I can feel Him carrying me.

In December, we celebrated both Mason's 4th birthday and Gavin's 2nd birthday! We can't believe how big all of our kids are getting and it has seriously been the biggest blessing this year just watching them grow and change in the neatest of ways.

We stayed very busy all year with sports and school activities along with Awana's for the kids at church. We feel like we are going somewhere nearly every day of the week it seems like and surely enjoyed the Christmas break where we did not have anything, but family events going on.

As much as I am prone to stay busy and love being productive, I value my seasons of rest. I value the weeks that we can enjoy each other a little more as a family and slow down enough to soak in some of the things we often fly by and miss. I know I have a lot more to learn through my relationship with Christ about seasons and the importance He places on each one.

As we start 2016, I know many things will be similar in some ways: Savannah will resume soccer here in about 6 weeks and Mason will start baseball (he did soccer in the fall, but we are giving baseball a try this season as he has expressed much more interest in it compared to soccer.), Savannah will resume the second semester of first grade here in a few days as will Mason resume preschool. Gavin will be mad again that he is left at home while the big kids are at school. He'll be okay though ;) and will get to start preschool himself in the fall.

We look forward to all of the things that God has in store for Dallas Aeration in 2016. After seeing His blessings poured out in 2015, it overwhelms me in the best of ways to attempt to fathom what He will do in 2016.

Most of all, I look forward to April for the upcoming birth of my sweet baby boy, Silas Mitchell Hayes. I absolutely cannot wait to hold, snuggle, kiss, nurse, and love on my sweet baby boy! If you know me well, you know that the newborn stage is my absolute favorite. Seriously, I don't know how I'll ever stop having babies!! JK- or am I? ;) Truly though, I adore that stage and it is so amazing to me every time I get to experience the miracle of life and bring life into this world. It is not something I take lightly and I cannot wait to bring baby Silas into this world and do my very best mothering him and loving him unconditionally. The kids and Zach are so excited as well. We love our family and love the thought of growing our family even more- the more to love on, the better, in our eyes!

As we press forward in 2016, I want my focus to be more on the One who sits on the throne above and what He has in store for me and what He intends for me to learn and to grasp out of each season and each event in each season as well.

"He who was seated on the throne said, 'I am making everything new.'." -Revelation 21:5

Our tribe is increasing// The news many of you have been waiting for//We are blessed beyond measure!

Well, the Hayes' family is so incredibly elated to share the news that many of you, my Facebook followers, my blog followers, etc. have been waiting for.... some playfully and others seriously...

That's right! Our tribe is increasing and we couldn't be more ecstatic! After a huge scare shortly after we found out we were pregnant, and after many tears and cries out to my Lord later, we were assured that our baby was fine and that my HCG levels were going through the roof! I have thanked Him profusely day in and day out for His faithfulness and protection over our baby. The words, "You are a good, good Father. It's who You are, it's who You are. And I am loved by You. It's who I am, it's who I am, it's who I am. You are perfect in all of Your ways, You are perfect in all of Your ways, You are perfect in all of Your ways, to us." keeps playing over and over in my head. This truth was what I was proclaiming over myself and my baby not just after I found out things were indeed okay, but during the agonizing waiting period of 6 days as well. Faithful He has been, and faithful He will be.

"Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you." Jeremiah 29:12

"Children are a heritage from The Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hands of a mighty warrior, are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full."

Psalms 127:3-5

Zach and I can honestly say we are overwhelmed in the best of ways by our Lord's goodness. We have seen a shower of blessings as of late and are just so grateful. From finding out we were pregnant again, to finding out our baby was okay after a huge scare, finding out I had been elected and appointed to the City of Allen board of Parks & Recreation, Dallas Aeration getting sought out multiple times for business in just a few short days, the list just keeps going... Our God is so good.

What a wondrous thing, I can stand and sing! Because when I fall to me knees, You're the one who pulls me up again.

What a mystery, that You notice me! And in a crowd of ten thousand, You don't miss a thing!

Because You see everything!

I am seen and I am known, by the King of kings and Lord of lords.

When You sigh, the wind becomes a sonnet. When You laugh, the storm around me ceases. You whisper and all my enemies are scattered. You surround me with angels on assignment.

There's no place I could go that Your love wouldn't find me; no place I could hide that You won't see. Because You see it all.

You don't miss a thing- Bethel

Our baby is due May 7th and we have an appointment coming up in October with my midwives here in Allen. We should find out what we are having mid November and cannot wait! Savannah and Mason have already told me they know it is a baby sister and that Gavin told them he wants a baby sister too! LOL I told them that is great, but we will take whatever Jesus wants us to have!! We seriously are so excited and honestly do not care either way, one way or the other. We are just so happy we get the blessing of raising another baby and pointing him or her to Jesus.

My faithful and predictable morning sickness or actually, all day sickness, has crept in slightly earlier this time around and I can already tell it is here to stay for a while. For those of you who don't know, with all of my past pregnancies, I have wretched all day sickness that consists of throwing up multiple times a day (realistically, just all day in general) until well into my second trimester. With Savannah, I was sick from 6 weeks to 17 weeks; with Mason, I was sick from 8 weeks until 14 weeks; and with Gavin, I was sick from 9 weeks to 19 weeks. This time I started getting sick at 6 weeks (I am 7 weeks now) just like with Savannah and it is TBD how long it will last ;) It's okay though, I honestly cannot complain knowing far too well how worth it my babies are. I long to hold, nurse, kiss, and nurture this sweet little baby and I will gladly go through whatever I have to go through to get to that point! I'm grateful for the independence my kids have even more so during this time. It is such a breath of fresh air that they will go and play independently and let Mommy work in the office and take breaks to deal with nausea and everything that comes along with it. ;) Love my kiddos! They really do bring so much to the table and I am so thankful for each of them and that I get to be their Mommy.

For those of you that faithfully request baby bump pictures each pregnancy, here you go:

I just popped out, out of no where, this past week! These were taken at 6 weeks 3 days. 

I will update my blogs periodically with baby updates and if anyone would like to know more, just message me and I am always happy to share!

I find that "In over my head" by Bethel has been like my life song these days and it brings me such peace just singing it out to The Lord. I wanted to share it here:

I have come to this place in my life,

I’m full but I’ve not satisfied, 

This longing to have more of You.

I can feel it, my heart is convinced.

I’m thirsty, my soul can’t be quenched. 

You already know this but still,

Come and do whatever You want to.

I’m standing knee deep but I’m out where I've never been.

I feel You coming and I hear Your voice on the wind.

Would you come and tear down the boxes that I have tried to put You in?

Let love come teach me who You are again.

Take me back to the place where my heart was only about You,

And all I wanted was just to be with You.

Come and do whatever You want to.

Further and further my heart moves away from the shore.

Whatever it looks like, whatever may come I am Yours.

Then You crash over me and I’ve lost control but I’m free.

I’m going under, I’m in over my head.

Whether I sink, whether I swim,

It makes no difference when I’m beautifully in over my head.

Expectations... Are a dangerous thing.

My sweet little five year old randomly said to me very seriously the other day, "Mommy, you know a lie is a very dangerous thing!" I smiled at the cuteness and sweetness that surrounded her honesty, but also stood astonished at how deep she understands some things that I never would have dreamt she would at such a young age.

Judging off her declaration, I can assume that my husband and I have done a pretty sufficient job at teaching her the importance of telling the truth and the dangers of lies. However, lies are not the only dangerous things.

Expectations are also very dangerous things. Expectations are things that our parents didn't teach us much about. Expectations are dangerous to women as mothers and as wives.

People ask me all the time how life is with three kids and if it is hard or not. Honestly, I don't consider life with three kids hard at all and that is always my answer, but perhaps it is because life with three kids is exactly what I expected it to be... Busy. I never expected it to be a cake walk nor did I expect to get to nap every day or sit on the couch all day doing whatever. I never expected to not have to clean or do laundry, but rather quite the contrary. Too often I run into other moms who seem unhappy and overwhelmed with their life with kids and describe themselves as just trying to survive. I have to wonder what they expected their life to be like and if this is why they are feeling the way they are feeling.

Do not get me wrong... I too have been guilty of unrealistic expectations, just not so much in the area of my kids, but rather in my relationship with my husband. Raising kids has always come pretty naturally and beautifully to me and seemingly as low stress as possible. Being the best wife I can be and not getting stressed because of unmet expectations there, is my real battle and my vulnerable one at that. This past year and a half has been particularly trying because my husband has been finishing up his college degree online. He wanted this so badly and I knew it would make him feel so grand to have accomplished it finally, but school is just simply not his niche and he didn't want it to drag out forever. I assured him that he could take a full load every semester, so he could get done in a year and a half ish and I would help him whenever he needed it. I was expecting this to be the occasional test or paper, but little did I know this would be a weekly, multiple assignments thing. This over time caused me to discreetly build up much resentment towards my husband. I knew all along that he was not the same as me when it came to school and couldn't cram as much into a week as I could because he simply was not wired that way. He could remodel a house from the ground up and save our family thousands of dollars over the year on DIY home improvements, but school was simply not his strong suit. How come I had always known this, yet was upset with him for it? Expectations. It's like I magically thought he would get better at it this time around, therefore I begrudgingly helped him with school work because I did not really want to have to be helping him this much. But was this his fault or my fault? This has been an area I have been struggling with in direct regards to expectations. I am trying to identify when a problem is the result of unreasonable expectations and when the problem is really a problem.

Example, if I'm helping my husband do his homework the night it is due because he waited until the last moment to start working on it, that is a real problem and something he should have done differently and therefore something I could rightfully be upset about.

Example, if my husband has six things due one week and I am having to help him with half of them because he can not realistically take it all on by himself, that is something I need to accept because getting upset about it would be the result of unrealistic expectations that I had for him long ago.

Recognizing the difference in these scenarios is the key to a happy life. Whether your expectations struggle lie with motherhood or with marriage or something else, it is so crucial to identify them early on and work through it rather than to let it go on and linger for an indefinite amount of time.

Proverbs 31:11-12, The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

Proverbs 31:15, 27, She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.

The greatest job...

I feel as though I have accomplished a lot in my young life. I was the youngest freshman in my dorm at Liberty University, starting my college career at just 17. I was one of the youngest graduates of my college class in 2010... Graduating with my bachelor of science in psychology at the mere age of 20... And with a bouncing baby girl just shy of a year old at that. I worked full time while finishing school and mothering my sweet girl, but I never thought of it as "hard" in those moments. Looking back, I realize how much I had going on and how hard and demanding my schedule was, but it is strange that in those moments, I did not view life as hard, but rather just how things had to be at that time. The thing about being through and accomplishing a lot in a short amount of time is you just get used to it and accept that things won't always be a breeze, but they will be worth it. This changes your mindset from that of a complainer to that of an endurer and a joy seeker. As cheesy as that may sound, when you know everything you are doing in your current position is going to yield astounding results once you get through the "busy, demanding, and maybe even hard" schedule, you are ready for those results and seeking that joy you know is at the end of the tunnel partnering with the light.

Shortly after my graduation, I got a new job and with that new job came more money. This was a breath of fresh air and I was so elated. I felt important. Again, I was the youngest person who worked for my company. Most others were late 20's, 30's, 40's, and even 50's. Here I was just 20. I broke records for amount of calls taken in an hour and the amount of cases closed per day. I was recognized at meetings. I truly felt important and recognized for my hard work. I was on my way to hopefully being in possession of a company car within the next six months as well. What a great position to be in.

Throughout all of these successes, I always longed for something else though... To be a stay at home mom. Yes, I had just worked my self to the ground to finish school with an infant in the house and working full time and for what? To get a job like this where I could truly grow within a great company and achieve great things? Or was it to just finish what I had started...something I had always been taught to do? I was realizing it was the latter and that although this was all great, I wanted to be at home where that action was. I wanted to be able to see all the amazing things my now 13/14 month old was now doing and not just hear about them at the end of the day.

November 2010... Just six months later, that dream came true. The next December (2011) I had my second born. I loved every second of it. Some moms may read this and think, "really? Every second?" The answer is honestly yes... Although of course when my now 5 year old daughter runs up the stairs to tell me that my now 2 year old son pee'd in the trash can while I am nursing my newest baby, my 4 month old, I may not "love" that second, but I love my life as a stay at home mom. I love the fulfillment it brings like no other job could ever do. I love watching my children grow and learn. I love watching them play and love each other.

Housework is honestly something I find fulfilling as well. I don't hate that part of being a stay at home mom. Perhaps, it was how I was raised and watching my Mam-ma so dedicatedly care for her home and she did so with such joy and perspective. It wasn't just a job or a burden by any means, but rather a way to further make your house a home for your husband and your children, she would tell me. I have really taken this to heart. When I am doing laundry, cleaning the bathrooms, sweeping and mopping, I honestly feel proud and I know every day when my husband comes home, he will come home to a clean and inviting house. Dinner may already be made or I may have him hold the baby when he gets home and then make dinner, but one thing for certain is the house will always be clean and be full of love and feel like a home.

My husband does such a great job of taking care of the outside also. Just as I would wear the baby in a sling or a wrap while I do housework or cook, he will put the baby in the baby backpack while he pulls weeds or put our 2 year old on his shoulders while he blows the driveway off. It makes me so happy. I love that I have found a partner in life who truly views this life we have created just as I have. Kids don't get in the way of your obligations, but rather you incorporate them in with your duties, because that is how a family works. You do things together. By starting this at such a young age, they will grow up seeing the importance of housework and how it makes a house a home and will do it just as joyfully instead of the all too common begrudgingly way of doing things we see too often today in our generation.

This past Mother's Day was my first Mother's Day without my Mam-ma. As hard as it was and as much as I missed her, I tried to remind myself what kind of a mother she was and further perfect those things. She was truly the greatest mother and the greatest grandmother I have ever seen. Part of my tribute I spoke of at her funeral, I mentioned that she was a mother to far more than just her children. It is so true. She was called "mother"  and "mom" by so many. This is going to be my next major goal in my mothering career. I truly love being a mother and can honestly attest to that it is the greatest, most fulfilling job I have ever done and it just feels right. It feels as though this is what I was put on this earth to do... To be a mother and raise my children to glorify The Lord. I am seeing that part of my Mam-ma's ministry as a mother was also helping others in need of a mother figure as well.

Mothers... Do not take today for granted.... Do not let frustration and overwhelming tendencies ruin your day. As mothers we have a calling. Housework is part of it, but it doesn't have to be burdensome, it can be routine and enjoyable and bring fulfillment. Raising kids brings fulfillment also even in the less than favorable seconds.

Proverbs 31:28, "Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her"

Excuse me now, while I go check on my 2 year old blowing bubbles in his water in the kitchen :-)

Heading back to resume "normal" life/December: the start of something new

We left my Papa's house this morning about 3 am to head back to North Carolina. It was very bittersweet for so many reasons... Although it is always nice to get back home and sleep in your own bed along with getting back to your normal routine, Texas is my home and that is where all my family is. I love being anywhere in Texas, but I especially love being there at my Mam-ma and Papa's house. No place feels more like home. Now with Mam-ma being gone also, I really am glad I can be there for Papa and help fill some of the loneliness that he is obviously feeling. Although he is doing very well all things considered, I still (understandably) watched him get pretty emotional several times throughout the week, particularly the last couple days before we left. I just hated leaving him and so wish I did not have to.

Here is a picture of Papa spoon feeding Mason (my sweet almost 2 year old (he'll be 2 in just 13 days)) some coffee... It was just so sweet.

When we left, he asked me when we would be back. I told him sometime after Baby Gavin was born (I'm 32 weeks today), we would be back for everyone to meet him. He said, "well you let me know as soon as you know when y'all are coming and I will have everything ready for y'all!" It just made me so sad and homesick for my home there already, and I hadn't even gotten in the car yet. I just love my Papa.

This trip was very weird without Mam-ma there, but I know she was in Heaven smiling down on us all. Zach and I were talking about just last night while lying in bed about how it's so different with her as opposed to anyone else in either one of our lives who has passed away before, because there really is no doubt in anyone's minds where she is. Every single one of us knows she's in Heaven and therefore it almost feels like she's not even gone, because we know we'll get to see her again. It doesn't make missing her any less prominent though. I miss her everyday.

Savannah (my sweet 4 1/2 year old) got to go to her cousin Ryleigh's birthday party yesterday. I am so glad they planned the party for while we were still in town! It was at Sweet & Sassy and all of the girls truly had a blast! Savannah just was on cloud 9 the entire time! It was so fun to watch her get pampered and dress up like a princess!

Here are some pictures from the party...

I just love my little girl! She is so much fun and is a huge blessing!

I know when we get back home, we will settle back into our routine just fine... My daughter will resume preschool tomorrow morning and my son will resume Mother's Day Out. I will resume housework and my husband will resume work. I have a doctor's appointment on Thursday that I am looking forward to as I am already currently dilated to a 2 and over 50% effaced with my baby being completely dropped. I am so very thankful for the time we had together away from the normal chaos of life though. I will miss the uninterrupted time we all had together while seemingly being in another world for the week.

Here is one last picture of my husband and daughter while we were out to breakfast with my Papa yesterday....

As Christians, we should be thankful every day, not just Thanksgiving or the month of November. That is something Brother Jim loudly pointed out at church Wednesday night. I for one and am going to make a conscious effort to be thankful for all of these blessings in my life and for The Lord who blessed me with them, most importantly. This is the kind of life my Mam-ma led and it's the kind of life we all should be striving to lead as well.

May December mark a new beginning for us all... A time to be renewed and find a newfound purpose!

A typical day/cleaning and laundry schedule

Here is what my typical day looks like and what works very well for me:

My kids sleep in until anywhere from 8:30 am- 9:30 am (occasionally 10 or 10:30 am if they were up later the night before than usual) on any given morning that they do not have preschool. The mornings they have preschool, my husband drops them off at 8:15 am on the way to work and so he gets them up about 7:45 am and gets them ready quickly and feeds them breakfast and out the door they go (their preschool is literally less than five minutes from our house). So for the mornings they are home with me, they wake up between 8:30 am- 9:30 am and I feed them breakfast while I make my bagel and coffee. They do not eat a ton right away in the morning, so usually by the time by bagel and coffee is ready, they are already done. I then send them to their playroom for their morning alone playtime. I have done this with my 4 1/2 year old daughter since she was 18 months and with my 2 year old son since he was 15 months or so. It really is so valuable!

I cannot stress enough to moms who do not currently do this with their children to start doing it! Start out at 15/20 minutes that they HAVE to stay in their playroom or their bedroom and play independently and gradually work your way up to an hour or an hour and a half. If they are not used to it, yes, they will come out! This is normal and to be expected. So long as you stay consistent and keep sending them right back in there (if they continue to come out, then treat it as direct disobedience and punish as you would for any other form of direct disobedience), they will eventually get the point that they have to stay in there and play and they will do so.

So back to our morning routine…

I send them in their playroom to play (they usually play in there for an hour and a half or two hours), and I go sit down in the living room and drink my coffee and eat my bagel. This is my quiet time to do whatever. I often utilize this time to read my Bible or if there is an episode of something that I missed from the night before, I may watch it for free on abc.com, etc. Afterwards (kids are still playing in their playroom), I put my dishes in the dishwasher, make sure my kitchen is clean (clean countertops, sweep/mop floor), and then do any laundry that I need to do. If I am going to wash anyone's sheets that day, I go ahead and put those in, so they will be done in a timely manner (particularly by nap time if they are the kids'). If I have any clothes in the dryer from any laundry I did last night, I put those away at this time. I then go jump in the shower and get ready.

Right about now my 2 year old may be coming to check on me and see what I am doing. I redirect him to go play with his sister for a little longer and then I go see what I am going to make them for lunch. After lunch, I let them play together for a little longer or sit with me and read a few books, etc. and then I have them both go make sure the playroom is clean (I am very big on them picking up their own toys and they both have a toy organizer with the cubbies that they put all their toys away in. This ensures that they put things back where they go and do not just throw them all together somewhere with no rhyme or reason.), and then I send my daughter to her bed to lie down for a nap (occasionally I will let her lie on the couch in the playroom and watch a movie for quiet time if she does not appear tired to me) and I take my son to his room and lay him down in his bed (both of my kids sleep in their own queen sized beds in their own rooms and so they can obviously get in and out of bed and come in and out of their room by their own accord). My daughter knows she can come out of her room to go to the bathroom and that's it and my son knows not to come out and if he does, he gets one warning and after that, it is a spanking.

Now that the kids are both in their beds, I finish up anything else I need to do, whether it be switching laundry or running the vacuum in the living room (the living room is our only room in the house with carpet- the rest is all hardwood floors and so it all just gets swept and mopped). I then sit down and eat my own lunch if I did not already eat it with the kids and do anything small like pay bills, file away statements, etc. Now is the time that it is acceptable if I want to lie down for a little bit while the kids are still down. I usually have thought of what I want to do for dinner by now and if it is something that does not require any a head of time prep (spaghetti, cheesy BBQ pasta, alfredo tilapia, etc.), I do not have to worry about dinner until about 4 pm. If it something that does require a little extra prep then I may go ahead and get that out of the way before I lie down (boiling potatoes for mashed potatoes, boiling raw vegetables that I am going to put in a stew or soup of some sort, etc.)

If I am not just exhausted this day (pre pregnancy particularly I never really nap and the second trimester of pregnancy I am usually not too tired either), then I just take this time to go sit down and read my Bible if I have not yet already, watch anything I may have been wanting to watch, call my grandma or my sister, call and see how my husband's day is going, etc. Once again, after my obligations are met, this is some extra me time.

The kids usually wake up anywhere between 4 pm- 5 pm, depending on how tired they were. My husband gets home a little after 5. We try to eat right about the time he gets home or 15/20 minutes after. I begin cooking typically about 4 pm and if my kids wake up while I am right in the middle of a hands on part of my meal, I either give them a light snack (applesauce, yogurt, cheese stick, etc.) or send them with a drink to the playroom to play until Mommy gets done. I then, if I am at a part in the meal where I am not required to be right there in the kitchen, go check on laundry if necessary, and then go hang out with kids until my husband gets home. Once my husband gets home, we eat, and then have our own laid back evening routine as a family.

Some additional tips for cleaning and it not wearing you out:

Laundry: Do laundry every day! A load of darks one day, lights the next, towels the next, darks the next (there are usually way more darks in a week than there are lights!), your bed sheets the next day, etc. (I wash our sheets every week and the kids' sheets every 2 weeks. I also only wash towels once a week because my kids use their two towels all week, we just hang up after use, and my husband and I each have a towel that we use for 4-5 days each before putting in the laundry. If you think about it, you are all clean when you get out of the shower and use your towel, so as long as you hang it up to dry, there is no reason that you cannot use it for multiple days at a time!)
Another laundry tip… take care of your kids' clothes (and your husband's if he spills things on his clothing too LOL). If you notice something has gotten on a piece of clothing that day, when that person takes it off at the end of the day, immediately take it to the laundry room and go ahead and spray it with something. Even if you are not doing laundry that second, just go ahead and spray it and set it on top of the washer, so you will see it and remember to check on it after it has been sitting. Clothes are too expensive to let them get stained because you forgot to pretreat something. Also, never put something in the dryer if the stain did not come all the way out. Lay it on top of the dryer and treat the stain again and throw it in with another load. Once you dry an item that has a stain, it is so much harder to get the stain out.

Cleaning: Sweep/mop kitchen every day. This does not take much time, but really is so necessary with kids. Sweep/mop other floors once a week or twice if needed. Vacuum once a week or twice if needed. Clean kitchen countertops every night after dinner or every morning after breakfast. Vacuum stairs once a week if you have stairs (stairs really do get SO dirty!). Clean all mirrors and storm doors once a week. Dust biweekly. Clean bathrooms once a week.
This really is so doable if you get yourself on some sort of a system (certain days you do certain things).

Kids: Make children pick up after themselves! This is so important for multiple reasons. For starters, it teaches personal responsibility and also teaches them to be clean and tidy and do their part. Secondly, it takes a load off of you and is one less thing you have to worry about.

Take it from me, you WILL feel better and more relaxed when your house is clean. It takes a load off you as a mother and wife knowing your home is clean and taken care of. Your husband will appreciate coming home to a nice, clean house and I honestly think kids behave better in a clean, organized environment than they tend to do in a messy environment.

It is so easy to get overwhelmed at the thought of all you have to do, but try not to. Keep yourself accountable and tell yourself these things need to get done and they will! You can be a great mom and keep your home clean as well. I hate that our generation has been told otherwise, but trust me, not only can it be done, it is very easy to stick to a routine that allows it to get done. :)

Back to Basics

We are in Texas visiting my family for the Thanksgiving holiday. We are staying with my Papa and I am so happy we are and he does not have to be alone during the holidays, as this is the first holiday he has not had my Mam-ma here with him. It has been a hard holiday for everyone, as she truly was the matriarch of our family, but I know that she would want us to carry on and enjoy our time together with one another and not be sad.

That is exactly what we have all tried to do and Thanksgiving, yesterday, was a success. We had an enormous smorgasbord of food that would have made her so proud. She truly loved the holidays! I made several of her signature dishes, one of which (the most famous and well loved) was her banana pudding! I have made this with her multiple times throughout the years, but this was the first time I was to ever tackle it by myself. While all the other dishes I was making of her's I was not the slightest bit worried about, as I have made them multiple times by myself before for other occasions I have cooked for, I was very nervous about this dish! I was mostly nervous because everyone looks forward to this above everything else every holiday and she has most definitely set the bar very high! My Papa came in and helped me make it, as he is a pro himself since he has helped her make it all these years, and it truly turned out delicious! I was so relieved and glad I could keep it in the family! This recipe was my Mam-ma's mother's recipe, so it has been in our family since the turn of the century.

Some pictures of our spread...

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While we have been here, we have had no obligations really. We have not had to worry about work, chores, things to do, or anything really. We have just been enjoying spending time with Papa and my other family and each other. It has been so nice to just enjoy each other in the evening and not have all these things we have to do or things to get ready for, but rather just be able to relax and relish in the moment. We have played with the kids so much, heard their never-ending laughter and actually been able to really enjoy it without thinking about what is next on the agenda. We have been able to shower and get ready without rushing. We have been able to just sit and talk for a seemingly endless amount of time. Even with helping Papa clean his house before Thanksgiving and me cooking multiple dishes, it still felt like an enormous weight had been lifted off of us in terms of our to do list. It really has just been so nice!

It makes me wonder how much we all take for granted on any given day throughout the midst of the daily grind. While there will always be obligations and commitments that we have, it really is so important to stop and make time for the things that really matter.

I think part of slowing down is also getting back to the basics. We as stay at home moms should be caring for our children most importantly and then secondly caring for our home. I cannot help but notice that this generation is sorely misguided on what is expected of stay at home moms. So many young moms think that it is "old fashioned" to cook every night, keep your house clean and tidy, and still be involved with your kids. It really is not… We should not be worried about how we can squeeze naps in every day before we even meet these basic needs that women before us for centuries have been fulfilling just fine.

Hear me out: I am not saying it is wrong to take a nap when your children are napping. I for one, being 32 weeks pregnant, can largely relate to that feeling of just pure exhaustion and wanting to just go lie down. I think if time is managed properly throughout the first part of the day, then you will likely have already performed most or all of your obligations and can guilt-free lie down and take a nap while your children nap. It is when the mornings are not productive and then the afternoons are not either, on a consistent every day basis, that I think a problem develops.

Tune in to my next blog post that will give an overview of what my day looks like (what works for me) and a little schedule/method to stick to for cleaning and laundry that makes it so much more doable and so much less overwhelming. We as moms have a lot to do and a lot of responsibilities that often even our husbands do not realize that we have to do; it shouldn't be harder for us, when there is an easier, less stressful way! :)

Intro... New to blogging.

I have always said I would probably never have a blog. To me, there was no benefit of blogging, because I actively utilized Facebook for posts I wanted to share with family and friends about my life. After losing my grandmother this past August 19, 2013 to an awful disease called pulmonary fibrosis, who was so much more than a grandmother to me, but rather more like a mother, I slowly began realizing that it actually would be nice to have a blog... If anything for the writing and the ability to speak freely about things that were weighing on my heart, things that I am passionate about, etc.

In addition to being an outlet for me, I do want to be able to reach out to and encourage other women, mothers, and wives through my writings. My grandmother was an amazing mentor and counselor to hundreds of men and women and she truly showed Christ's love to everyone she came in contact with. It has been my desire to follow in her footsteps. Given the time of my life and the current location I am in, I feel it would be easiest for me to start this lifelong journey through blogging.

Here is a photo of me and my Mam-ma just a couple days before she passed away.

A little bit about me...

I am a wife to a wonderful husband, my college sweetheart. We have been through a lot and had many ups and downs prior to marriage, but we always worked it all out and in the end love prevailed. I could not be happier and although at times, I do wonder why we had to go through so much to get to where we are now, I know it has all been part of God's plan and He has a purpose for everything.

We have a daughter who is 4 1/2, a son who will be 2 in just 2 weeks, and are expecting our third (another boy) in just a little over a month. We do also have one precious baby in Heaven who we never got to meet. Before I was pregnant with our son, we miscarried when I was roughly 5 weeks pregnant.

This was an extremely tough time in my life especially as I had never experienced this kind of loss. What made it more difficult was I had not yet shared the news of being pregnant with anyone and therefore did not even know how to begin sharing the news of this loss with anyone close to me. We ended up not telling anyone and dealing with the loss by ourselves, which in hindsight was not the wisest choice. It was very difficult to sort through the emotions I was feeling and to deal with the grief I was experiencing without anyone to talk to about it. While my husband was wonderful, being a man he could not fully understand the degree of hurt that I was feeling and I think that in and of itself was very hard for him. We have over time, shared our loss with a few close to us who have also experienced this same kind of loss in hopes we can help them with their grief a little better than we were able to help ourselves. I have since come to realize that women should not be ashamed to talk about this loss or even share the news of pregnancy early on for fear of a possible loss. These are our children no matter what stage of pregnancy we are in and in the event this horrible loss does occur, we need people to acknowledge the life that was, the life of our young, the life we carried in our womb and ached for when it was taken from us, to truly allow us to grieve in the way we need to.

For an amazing read that will pull at all your heartstrings on this topic, I am posting a link to a sweet friend of mine's blog post on this topic. It was written several weeks following her miscarriage and she puts everything I have ever felt into words so perfectly.

http://fastforwardgirl.blogspot.com/2013/07/the-disqualified-grief.html

Originally from Dallas, Texas, I went to college in Lynchburg, VA where I received my BS in Psychology. I would love to further my education one day and complete my Master's in Marriage and Family Therapy. I may try to do this when all my children are in school. We now live in a small town in North Carolina where my husband has grown up most of his life.

Although I have grown up in church all my life, something changed drastically in my heart at my grandmother's funeral. I began to have this thirst for The Lord that I had been lacking over the past few years, I began reading my Bible daily and truly seeking His face, and I began trying to be more like Him when before I had been much more on again off again.
It is my desire that my family will serve The Lord all the days of our lives and we will all continuously strive to be more like Him.

Here is a picture of my 2 kids.

I hope you will enjoy reading my blog and will find something in it that speaks to you or encourages you in some way. I look forward to connecting with many other wonderful people as well.