Judging off her declaration, I can assume that my husband and I have done a pretty sufficient job at teaching her the importance of telling the truth and the dangers of lies. However, lies are not the only dangerous things.
Expectations are also very dangerous things. Expectations are things that our parents didn't teach us much about. Expectations are dangerous to women as mothers and as wives.
People ask me all the time how life is with three kids and if it is hard or not. Honestly, I don't consider life with three kids hard at all and that is always my answer, but perhaps it is because life with three kids is exactly what I expected it to be... Busy. I never expected it to be a cake walk nor did I expect to get to nap every day or sit on the couch all day doing whatever. I never expected to not have to clean or do laundry, but rather quite the contrary. Too often I run into other moms who seem unhappy and overwhelmed with their life with kids and describe themselves as just trying to survive. I have to wonder what they expected their life to be like and if this is why they are feeling the way they are feeling.
Do not get me wrong... I too have been guilty of unrealistic expectations, just not so much in the area of my kids, but rather in my relationship with my husband. Raising kids has always come pretty naturally and beautifully to me and seemingly as low stress as possible. Being the best wife I can be and not getting stressed because of unmet expectations there, is my real battle and my vulnerable one at that. This past year and a half has been particularly trying because my husband has been finishing up his college degree online. He wanted this so badly and I knew it would make him feel so grand to have accomplished it finally, but school is just simply not his niche and he didn't want it to drag out forever. I assured him that he could take a full load every semester, so he could get done in a year and a half ish and I would help him whenever he needed it. I was expecting this to be the occasional test or paper, but little did I know this would be a weekly, multiple assignments thing. This over time caused me to discreetly build up much resentment towards my husband. I knew all along that he was not the same as me when it came to school and couldn't cram as much into a week as I could because he simply was not wired that way. He could remodel a house from the ground up and save our family thousands of dollars over the year on DIY home improvements, but school was simply not his strong suit. How come I had always known this, yet was upset with him for it? Expectations. It's like I magically thought he would get better at it this time around, therefore I begrudgingly helped him with school work because I did not really want to have to be helping him this much. But was this his fault or my fault? This has been an area I have been struggling with in direct regards to expectations. I am trying to identify when a problem is the result of unreasonable expectations and when the problem is really a problem.
Example, if I'm helping my husband do his homework the night it is due because he waited until the last moment to start working on it, that is a real problem and something he should have done differently and therefore something I could rightfully be upset about.
Example, if my husband has six things due one week and I am having to help him with half of them because he can not realistically take it all on by himself, that is something I need to accept because getting upset about it would be the result of unrealistic expectations that I had for him long ago.
Recognizing the difference in these scenarios is the key to a happy life. Whether your expectations struggle lie with motherhood or with marriage or something else, it is so crucial to identify them early on and work through it rather than to let it go on and linger for an indefinite amount of time.
Proverbs 31:11-12, The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
Proverbs 31:15, 27, She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
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