Happy Birthday to Gavin// Reflecting back One Year to the Birth of MyChristmas Blessing

Wow, it hardly seems that one year has passed by and my sweet sweet Gavin is one now. Reflecting back to roughly a year ago brings so many memories to my mind.

Most everyone by now, I'm sure, knows that my Mam-ma, who by far was my closest earthly relationship, passed away last August 2013 of a deadly, ruthless lung disease called focal pulmonary fibrosis. When she died, I felt like my entire world was turned upside down. I had lost the most important person to me and I was so lonely. It was after her death that I first encountered the presence of The Holy Spirit and began a real and beautiful relationship with Him.

When I was pregnant with Gavin, I was in serious risk of preterm labor. I was already dilated to a 2 at 25 weeks and 50% effaced. At 30 weeks 3 days, and 30 weeks 4 days, I received two steroid shots to help speed up the development of his lungs, because that's how risky things were. I am so thankful for a group of good doctors who were on top of things, but ultimately thankful to The Great Physician whose hand was constantly covering Gavin in the womb.

I did indeed end up delivering Gavin prematurely at 35 weeks, on Christmas Day. That Thanksgiving was very hard for me not having my Mam-ma and I knew Christmas was going to be even harder. Couple that with fearing for my unborn child's life, it was a less than ideal time for me. However, God's grace is ever so abundant. I gave birth to Gavin that Christmas Day and despite being 5 weeks early, he was perfectly healthy and never saw the inside of the NICU.

I had prayed a few days before Christmas that God would not let Gavin be born until he could be born safely, but that I was longing to meet him and how my arms ached to hold this new life and this new love. 1 Samuel 1:27, "For this child I have prayed and The Lord hath given me my petition which I asked of him."

I believe God gave me Gavin on Christmas Day to further show His promises to me. Job's words rang so true in my heart that day, "naked I came into this world and naked shall I return thither. The Lord giveth and The Lord taketh away. Blessed be the name of The Lord!" Job 1:21

I lost my Mam-ma, but was given a sweet, innocent baby on Christmas Day, Jesus' birthday- what a beautiful testament to God's unfailing love and grace.

Psalms 62:1, "From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I."

Now I look at my sweet, happy one year old baby boy and can't believe a year has gone by since that beautiful day. This year has truly been wonderful and Gavin is such a blessing to our family. He is so full of love, sweetness, and everything good. He is so cuddly and makes me smile all the time. He is so good and such a beautiful gift. I am so thankful for him and even more so, I am thankful to my Lord and Savior who always knows our needs better than we know them ourselves. "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith The Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts." -Isaiah 55:8-9

Happy Birthday my sweet Gavin Michael! It's been an enormous blessing to be your Mommy. This first year of your life has been so sweet and beautiful. I'm excited to see what God has in store for year two! 

Gavin on his birthday!

Gavin early December 2014 after his shower!

Gavin at 11 months, helping Daddy fix a broken cabinet.

Gavin at just a few days old.

To read my blog post from a year ago when Gavin was first born, click the link below:

http://thegreatestremains.blogspot.com/2014/01/welcome-baby-gavin-michael-my-christmas.html

I was not called to be Lukewarm // My First Encounter with The HolySpirit

The past two blog posts, I have touched on my personal first time experience with The Holy Spirit after my Mam-ma died. To not take away from the things I wanted to share with everyone in those posts (my husband's first encounter with The Holy Spirit and the then announcement of our move to PA), I just briefly touched on it, but I wanted to now write a post documenting the whole story for those who would like to read about it.

All my life I have grown up in the church. I went to AWANAS, I went to a Christian school elementary through high school, I was around all Christian people and friends, and I was raised by a Christian family. I grew up with extensive knowledge of the Bible and memorized much of it as well. I went on to a Christian college also. It is probably safe to say that I had a lot more head knowledge about God and The Bible than many people I know. However, that's just it; I had head knowledge. Like many Christians today, I was just lukewarm. Everything I did was virtually just acts of going through the motions and that is not real. I never thought much of it, however. I believed in God and that was all that mattered, right? Wrong. James 2:19 tells us that even the demons believe and they TREMBLE at Jesus' name. Last time I checked, the demons weren't going to be in Heaven.

It was after my Mam-ma died that I was in such a dark, lonely place that I realized  something was indeed missing out of my life. I was in her church and encountered the presence of The Holy Spirit for the very first time and was forever changed. The pastor was preaching how many church members will die and go to hell and be 14 inches from Heaven, because that's the distance from your head to your heart. Billy Graham too has preached how 70% of church members are not really saved. I'd heard this statistic before, but of course didn't think it applied to me. However, being so lost after my Mam-ma died, I realized I had used her as my spiritual rock and funneled all of my spirituality through her in a sense via our daily several hour long phone conversations, etc. Now that she was gone, I felt so alone. That is, until I truly encountered the Holy Spirit's presence. When I felt Him for the first time and He consumed me, it was like nothing I've ever experienced before. It literally broke me down in the best possible way when I felt His love. It was so overwhelming and again, in the best of ways. The verse in Psalms 34:8, "taste and see that The Lord is good." had an entire new meaning for me.

All I know, is I was never the same after that. Nothing felt like going through the motions to me any more, but rather I had this intense hunger and thirst for more of Him!

It was then that I really fully realized His gift of salvation and His gift of The Holy Spirit. It broke me down to realize the depth of His love for me and for everyone.

Psalms 3:8, "Salvation belongs to The Lord; Your blessing is upon your people!"

Bethel has a song that I love, called "What would I have done"

I will not forget the cross, the pain that You endured for us

Where You carried brokenness and shame

Never to forget the day Your love broke through to make a way

For hope to rise within my heart again

Overwhelming sacrifice, You freely paid the highest price

Suffering You traded blood for me

My heart will sing the deepest praise, my lips rejoice, my hands will raise

For the death that brought me into life

All for love

My Jesus, You gave all for love

I am standing in the wonder of

Your great love

What would I have done if it wasn't for Your love

The love that tore the veil inside my heart

What would I have become if it wasn't for Your blood

The blood You gave for all on the cross

I'm still growing each and every day. I'm still learning constantly. A book that changed my prayer life and just my outlook on every day life and how it relates to my relationship with God is Glimpes of Grace. It helped me realize that if you just set aside 20 minutes over coffee every morning for devotions, you're doing something wrong. That's not a "real" relationship. Your relationship with Jesus should be greater than that with your spouse. I talk to my husband all throughout the day, even if it's just 2-3 minutes here and there, not just over coffee every morning. That's how I've learned to talk to The Holy Spirit too! All throughout the day, about the mundane, and the big things... In order to have a real relationship with Him, we cannot settle to be lukewarm. We have to be all in, on fire for Him, just as He is for us! 

Since encountering The Holy Spirit for the first time, I'm so much more aware of Him and now make a point to welcome Him into me, my house, into my family. I ask Him to fall on us all each and every day. We can never have enough of Him and we always need to invite Him in. He is after all, a person.

This journey has been amazing for me and now it's even sweeter than I'm on it with husband too. I look forward to all the amazing things yet to come through the power of The Holy Spirit and His great love.

"Hallelujah to You God of the redeemed! Hallelujah! You open blinded eyes to see! And we will praise You! You are the Everlasting Light! Hallelujah to You God of the redeemed!" -Bethel

We are MOVING! // Exciting things coming up for our family!

We have some exciting news that we would like to share with everyone! We are MOVING!! Many of you knew that we were planning on moving to Texas shortly after the first of the year. Well, that is not the announcement we are making...

We actually will be delaying our move to Texas by a few months... because we will be attending DTS (discipleship training school) through YWAM (Youth With A Mission) in Harrisburg, PA and also be attending the international outreach with them as well afterwards. This DTS is actually calling Musicians, Entrepreneurs, and Love Messengers. This is so fitting as Zach IS already an Entrepreneur and recently incorporated his new business. At DTS, we will learn how to not just use our business to be successful for us, but rather how we can advance the kingdom through our business and show others Christ's love through the business.

Many of you read my last blog post about the supernatural events that took place while we were in Harrisburg a few weekends ago and how my husband, Zach, experienced The Holy Spirit's presence for the first time while we were there. While we were there, we felt The Holy Spirit calling us to be a part of this upcoming DTS. When we got home, we began to pray very fervently about this and asked The Spirit to give us His perfect peace and show us this was what we were without a doubt supposed to do. I could go on for a long time about some of the many confirmations we received from Him! We realized that we undoubtedly were supposed to do this and that we were there that weekend by divine appointment. We then decided to tell our families.

While we have come across many emotions throughout the process of telling people and we know that this is something many people do not understand and may even think we are crazy for doing, we know that we are doing the absolute right thing! We are not choosing the comfortable path ahead of us for sure; it would be SO much easier and smoother to just go on to Texas after the first of the year like we had planned and Zach start up his business, also like we had planned. However, we know that HIS ways are higher than our ways and HE is calling us to do this, so we are being obedient and following HIM!

For the past year and a half, I have prayed for my husband to have the same beautiful encounter with The Holy Spirit that I had after my Mam-ma died. It was then that I realized that while I had all the head knowledge, I did not have the heart knowledge. It was then that I realized I was merely and tragically, lukewarm. The beauty of His grace is that it is never too late to make such realizations. Encountering The Holy Spirit for the first time changed my life. I had a newfound hunger and thirst for Him, whereas before every thing I did was seemingly just going through the motions. I was on fire and began to separate myself from those who were not and sought to surround myself around those who were. (I will post the full story on my next blog post as I have just given the condensed version the last two posts.) I made some amazing new relationships during this time, but ultimately I desired for my husband to get to this point as well. In Harrisburg, he had the same realization that I had had a little over a year before- that he had all the head knowledge, but no real relationship; that he had never actually encountered the presence of The Holy Spirit! The change I have seen in my husband since that weekend has been absolutely phenomenal. He is so happier, so much more aware of things he should and should not do, he has quit dipping, and I could seriously keep rambling on because I am in so in awe and so so proud of him!

Now that we are spiritually on the same page, it is so incredibly amazing. We can relate to so much as we both had similar backgrounds before our first encounter with The Holy Spirit. Now that we are walking in sync with Him, we are making decisions so differently. We were able to make this decision, both knowing that this is what The Lord had in store for our family and both having the peace that only He can give!

There are still many unknowns that lie ahead of us. We know that we live in a world that views unknowns as risks and a world that also values certainties. We too have found ourselves with this type of mindset. We, however, know that by taking this step of faith and doing what The Holy Spirit is leading us to do, that He will take care of us and direct our paths. We are taking care to not lean on our understanding, but on HIS, for we know that HIS ways are higher than our ways! (Proverbs 3:5, Isaiah 55:8-9) We ask that you have faith with us on this journey as well and cover us in prayer.

We do have to raise a large sum of money (approximately $30,000) to be able to complete our mission. Those of you who are willing and able to sponsor us during this journey, we have set up a PayPal account specifically for these donations. The PayPal email address is brittaninicolehayes@gmail.com. Those who are able to give to our mission, we will be very grateful and we ask that you know that what you are giving is not just to us, but is going to help advance the kingdom of God as well. Your donation to our mission literally will have an impact on many people's eternities!

We know that not everyone is in a position where they are able to financially give and that is okay! We ask that whether in addition to giving financially or in lieu of it, you please commit to praying for us regularly while we are on this journey. We treasure your prayers and can feel the difference they make in our life.

We know that this likely will come as a shock to many and we welcome any questions anyone might have. Stay tuned for more blog posts throughout this journey and if you have not already, please subscribe to my blog updates if you would like to stay updated on our journey!